WHERE IS THE LOVE? – Jerry Wierwille

This post is in reply to the blog of Thomas L. Horrocks. Follow the link to read his post.

Hey Thomas,

Great post brother! This is an incredibly important issue among nearly every Christian circle. I think that the “It’s cool to be cruel” mindset has its derivative in “I like to be right” attitude. How many people really see anything wrong with pointing the finger or exposing a wrong belief with a little derision on the side? I would figure that even if people would raise their hand and affirm that something is wrong with it, they are guilty of it in practice. I believe there is an undue, detrimental spirit of pride that accompanies inappropriate loyalty to a church, ministry, organization, group, or religion that fuels a separatist ethos which in turn is manifested as an elitist ideology. We see this disposition predominating in conversations where people enjoy highlighting how “I am right and you are wrong,” or “I have the rightly-divided truth and you don’t.” And there is a smug grin on their face like they just one-upped you.

When people are proud and want others to know that they belong to the “right” church, denomination, organization, or religion, it is a small step to attach a snide comment and dejection of the other person as a means to exalt and promote your position. Check out the psychological issues associated with these tendencies.

“Social identity theory argues that humans have a basic psychological need for ‘positive distinctiveness.’ In other words, people have a need to feel unique from others in positive ways. As humans naturally form groups, this need for positive distinction extends to the groups we belong to. That is, we tend to view our in-groups more favorably than out-groups (groups we do not belong to). And as a consequence, we tend to see people who are not part of our group less positively than people who are. This is especially likely to occur when there is competition between the groups or when people feel like the identity of their group has been challenged.” ~Nathan Heflick, “Why Are People Mean? Part 1,” Psychology Today, June 29, 2013.

It is not only the social distinction that many people are seeking but it is an issue with their self-image and the desire to increase their self-worth. Unfortunately, many people do this by putting the other person, group, church, religion or whatever down to make them feel better about themselves. Egos play a big part in our self-esteem and when we feel threatened or do not feel that positive about ourselves, our group, our church, or our religion, a nurtured defense mechanism is to bring the other party down to our level or below. We can feel proud about what we believe, what church we are a part of, or the religion we profess, but sometimes we are all too sensitive and not confident enough. As Nathan Heflick further states:

“When our self-esteem is threatened, we are more likely to compare ourselves to people we think are worse off than us, to see other people as having more negative traits, to degrade people who aren’t members of our groups, and to become more directly aggressive towards people in general.When you insult or criticize someone else, it may say more about how you are feeling about yourself than the other person.

Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world.”

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