“BROKEN HALLELUJAH” by THE AFTERS

We will never know exactly what God has planned and we don’t need to. Whatever he is doing is what is right, just, and good. And so we can trust that whatever he has planned, he can make beauty come from our ashes.

When we don’t understand what is going on and we don’t see clearly what we are going through, we might not realize that God already does. He is not waiting to figure it out like we are. He knows our heart and he knows our struggle even before we call out to him.

In times of joy and times of pain, I want to be a believer who lifts my hands and says, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.” It is easy to lift your hands when the road is smooth and the journey pleasant. During a summer, a heart willing to praise and worship the Lord is quickly found, but more desired by God is a heart that finds the strength to exalt him when the sun is hidden and the days are cold.

At a time in my life when I was a broken man and I was lying on the floor in pieces, it seemed so hard to praise and worship God. The pain in my heart consumed me and I was inflicted beyond measure. My empty hands felt so heavy to raise and most of the time all I could do was look out the window and pray for help—any help—because I was lost and hurting. I was lost in my pain and I was lost in my darkness. It was like trying to reach for my keys to open the car door when my hand and fingers were numb and frost bitten. I tried so hard but could do so little in that condition. With all that had been taken away and the numb, frost bitten feeling in my heart, I would fall to my knees because the pain was too much. All I could do was cry out over and over because I did not feel I could make it on my own. With all the effort I could gather, with the depths of my soul battered from the crashing waves, and with the faintest of breath I spoke “hallelujah.”

At times, I did not know why I uttered this word. I just knew it was a word that I needed to speak. Gradually, the strength to say it louder and louder with growing faith and conviction, built in me a love for God that overcame the pain and hurt. My suffering became eclipsed by my passion to express glory and praise to God. Despite the way I felt, I came to realize that when I was inward looking so intently, I had lost my vision of looking upward. But, when I slowly began to look upward, I began to stop looking inward. As hard as it was, it was not my strength that overcame the pain but the strength that I found in him. Thus, during any season and circumstance of life, whether high or low, whether sunny or cold, I pray my heart always sings “Hallelujah!”

Our God is a God who can heal the broken hearted, a God who can bind up the wounded, and a God who can restore what has been destroyed.