Chapter 1 – What's A Zimzum?

[Jerry Wierwille]

Quotes
“There are moments in marriage when you realize that you’re brushing up against our deepest experiences of what it means to be human, when you become aware that some of the most profound truths of the universe are lying next to you in bed, moments that illuminate our most innate and mysterious longings for grace and connection and vitality.” (p. 6)

“It is risky to give yourself to another. There are no guarantees, and there are lots of ways for it to fall apart and break your heart. But the upside is infinite.” (p. 16)

Response
I think one of the keys for understanding the “zimzum” is what it takes to expand your center of gravity to include another person and create a space for this other person to thrive. I believe this can be a challenge both personally and logistically (which many people may not be fully aware of).

Personally speaking, sometimes it is hard for us to make room in our lives for another person. But the truth is, if we want another person in our lives there has to be room for them. Otherwise, what part of ourselves would we be giving them? None really.

Regarding the logistic challenge of expanding your center of gravity is that it is easier to manage a smaller center of gravity than a larger one. Being willing to expand one’s center of gravity means being willing to take on the additional effort it takes to manage, coordinate, and take care of that additional area in your life, especially when that additional area includes another human being.

What I see as the critical aspect of expanding one’s center of gravity and creating a flow of energy toward this other person is “reciprocity.” In any relationship, is the other person’s center of gravity expanding to include you as well? Are they creating a positive energy flow toward you? Are you both forming a new space between each other or is the bubble really lop-sided by one person absorbing all the energy and keeping their center of gravity closely defined around their own two feet? This does not mean the dynamic of two people’s interactions and relationship cannot change. It is just a status marker or gauge for realizing where each person stands and what sort of space is being created between them. I think this is important for people to recognize because it is too easy for one person to “carry” the relationship making things seem like they are mutually beneficial and all right, but in reality, they are slipping farther and farther away from finding that “zimzum”.

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