(p. 43) About the plane and traffic light incidents: it seems that men who don’t have a context through which they are living out their hearts true design, they succumb to simple frustrations that burst out into fits of rage. You see it everyday. Why do such little annoyances or inconveniences have such a strong pull on a man? True, those stimulus are only temptations, but how could such insignificant matters cause these absurd reactions (sin)? Man was designed to fight, and if a man is not exercising that quality in a healthy, meaningful manner, it is far more likely for him to erupt in these situations. This kind of behavior also is often a result of passive aggression. Unless a man has an avenue which he can exercise his strength, it will ignite into sin. This is probably the biggest cause for violence and corruption amongst young men in our society. Especially ones in impoverished, urban communities. There is little positive development of the true masculine heart, especially within a spiritual context, which it was meant to thrive. And unless those innate desires are exercised in a healthy manner, they’ll corrupt according our fallen nature.
Oh, and you can’t simply tell that person to “stop.” They need a whole lot more instruction than that.
“If a man does not find those thing for which his heart is made, if he is never even invited to live for them from his deep heart, he will look for them in some other way.” (p. 44) “You can only believe/go as much/far as you’ve been taught.” Boys need to be shown and taught, and the majority of men still need to be as well.
“Though he is powerfully drawn to the woman, he does not know how to fight for her or even that he is to fight for her.” (p. 44) I can admit 100% that this was me. I had no idea. Now I know that you are to fight for her in every way possible, not just physically. Years ago I was dating someone I felt very confident about, but I remember knowing I had no business asking this girl to marry me. I didn’t know why exactly, I just instinctually knew something inside of me was missing. It felt like a void, and I knew I couldn’t ignore it and push it aside. I certainly didn’t understand the primal need to fight for her heart (as Eldredge explains later), not to mention a majority of the material explained in this book was missing as well. I believe that was my spirit inside, the counselor, guiding me, protecting me. It was a feeling I had that I just could not describe.
In regards to the universal masculine question “Can I come through?” I believe it is appropriate to say, “Men are made for utility.”
I have written on the bottom of page 47 in my book, “This is probably why many women seek out bad guys – for fight and adventure.” Tame, harmless, controllable Mr. Nice Guy isn’t very attractive to the feminine heart.