“STEADY MY HEART” by KARI JOBE
| ~ Lyrics ~ |
| Wish it could be easy Why is life so messy Why is pain a part of us? There are days I feel like Nothing ever goes right Sometimes it just hurts so much But You’re here, You’re real Even when it hurts I’m not gonna worry And I will run to You |
Psalm 73:21-26 NIV
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
As much as we would like to be able to handle everything that we go through in life and be strong and face the wind and the rain, we are but frail creatures with hearts of flesh and powerful emotions that let us intimately feel life and the world around us. When life is good these emotions give us the most amazing sense of life and the beauty of this world, but when life is hard these emotions serve us a cold dish of heartache and pain we wish we could pass up. But whether life is good or bad, we do not have to hold ourselves up and mend our hearts by toughing-it-out.
Our will-power is not the determining factor that helps us make it through difficult times. We can be strong when we are weak not because we turn off the switch on our emotions or forget thinking about the bad stuff we are experiencing. It is just flat out naïve to think that we hold the remedy for brokenness in our own hands and are able to bandage our wounds and stand back up by our sheer mental prowess and inner desire. Let those who trust in their strength try and fix themselves by themselves and whenever they are tired of trying and failing, they will realize that brokenness is an injury they cannot heal by their own effort.
When I was at the lowest point in my life a couple years ago and the world seemed like a dismal place and there was no color left in it and depression and despair visited me every minute, my heart was shattered and my life was a mess. At times when I just wanted to forget everything, I just wanted to run away, I just wanted to not be who I was, I would sit and sing this song over and over while crying my eyes out because I knew I did not have the strength in myself nor the answer, but I wanted to believe and trust in the One who did. Sometimes it took singing while choking on streams of tears to just get me to not give up but to run to Him who could give me enough strength to make it through.
However intense the pain and sorrow was, however complicated the situation became, or however undesirable my life seemed to me, God held the pieces of my heart. Shattered and broken, God prevented my heart from completely falling apart. He is the only reason I survived and was able to recover from such a fatal wound to my soul. God you truly are the only one who can steady my heart.
“Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars.”
Psalm 147:2-6 ESV
The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
The Lord lifts up the humble;
he casts the wicked to the ground.